A Child’s Fear
My fear of the dark
began on a winter evening
at the age of eight,
when I walked down
the creaky wooden stairs
of my childhood home
headed to the kitchen for an apple.
When I looked to the snow-filled yard,
under the full moon,
my eyes caught a clown-like figure.
With onyx dots for eyes,
a woolen mask was slipped over his face.
a large shadow on the sparkling snow.
Was he a ghost looking like a joker?
He jumped from side to side and signaled me
towards him. I wanted to run away,
but still hovered between a child’s curiosity
and an adult’s fear.
My instincts made me run.
I scurried back upstairs,
so fast, the railing burning my hand.
At the top of the stairs,
I peered down the dark stairwell—
was the swooshing sound
the joker or the wind?
Safe in my room,
I landed in the arms
of my Tiny Tears doll
holding space on my bed.
My doll was the only one
I ever trusted.
The next day, my therapist tells me
I am afraid of my shadow.
Diana Raab, PhD, is an award-winning memoirist, poet, blogger, speaker, and author of 10 books and is a contributor to numerous journals and anthologies. Raab’s two memoirs are “Regina’s Closet: Finding My Grandmother’s Secret Journal,” and “Healing With Words: A Writer’s Cancer Journey.”
Her two latest books are, “Writing for Bliss: A Seven-Step Plan for Telling Your Story and Transforming Your Life,” and “Writing for Bliss: A Companion Journal.”